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How to Talk About Abortion

Talking about your pregnancy is important if you’re considering your options, but it isn’t just about getting medical advice from an expert. Discussing your options with someone you trust and telling them how you’re feeling can be just as important.

Choosing the Right Person to Talk To

Most women will want to discuss their pregnancy with someone they know. You might want to talk to your partner, a close friend, or a family member. However, it is up to you whether you want to tell anyone. Your doctors won’t tell anyone anything without your consent.

If you do decide to talk to a friend or family member, then it is important to choose someone you trust so that you can speak openly about your options (including keeping the baby and the termination of pregnancy) and how you feel. Ideally, it should be someone who is a good listener and who feels comfortable talking about pregnancy, abortion and feelings.

You can also speak to:

  • Your GP
  • An abortion doctor at 132 Healthwise
  • Counsellors or therapists (online, over the phone, or in person)

Discussing the Decision

Visiting an abortion clinic is the best way to get practical advice on all your options, including keeping the baby, adoptions and termination of pregnancy.

However, it can also be good to discuss each of these options with someone who is close to you. The decision is up to you, but it can help to know how your choice could affect your lifestyle and relationships. Would your family be able to provide any support if you decided to keep the baby? How would your partner feel about becoming a father? Will your friend be there to drive you home after the termination?

Talking through each scenario with someone you trust can be a good way to work out which option feels right for you.

Talking About How You Feel

Discussing the options with someone you trust can help you to work out what you want to do, but it can also be important to talk about how you feel. An unplanned pregnancy can leave you feeling shocked, anxious, angry, depressed or a whole mix of other feelings. Whatever you decide to do will have an emotional impact on you too.

Telling someone how you feel can be a huge relief, even if your feelings sometimes seem silly, unexpected or unrelated to the termination of pregnancy. Even if you’re just feeling relieved that it’s all over, it can help to share this with someone so that you don’t feel as if you’re on your own. Women have all kinds of feelings about pregnancy and abortion, so you’re not alone and you don’t have to keep them to yourself.

Talking to a good friend or close relative can be helpful, but you should also be aware that more support is available if you need it at any time. Even if it’s been months or years since you had an abortion, you can always talk to your doctor or a therapist if you’re feeling sad, anxious or worried. Support is available if you need it.

Talking about your feelings isn’t always easy, especially when you’re experiencing negative emotions. Be as honest as you can and remember that every woman is unique. There is no “right” way to feel after a termination.

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